Shepherding Our Children Through Change

Planting a church is an exciting thing to do, but it does come with some challenges. One of those challenges is helping our children transition from a church they love to a brand new church. Here are several thoughts that I hope will help you as you seek to shepherd your children through this time of transition.

1. Pray as a couple and ask God to help you see the vision for why we are planting this church. If we do not see the vision for why God is leading us to plant this church, and if we are not captivated by that vision, it will be hard for us to lead our children in a way that’s healthy for them and glorifying to God. So, as a couple, spend some time praying and ask God to help you both see and feel the vision for Glory of Christ Baptist Church.

2. Pray as a couple for your children. If God has called you to be part of the vision of Glory of Christ, then he’s thinking about your children as well as you, and he has designs in mind for them. Thus, ask the Lord to help you see what he’s doing in your children’s lives, and pray that he will accomplish all of his designs for them through this transition. We will be able to shepherd our children better if we have some sense of what God is doing in their lives.

3. Sit down together with your children and explain to them the vision for this church, and the designs God may have for them in it. Make sure to tell them that God is thinking about them as well as the adults, and that he has plans for them. Tell them that they are not just “tag alongs,” but that they are an integral part of what God is doing in and through this church. Invite them to pray and think about how they might engage in the vision themselves.

4. Allow your children to express the full range of their feelings, and listen carefully to them. If your children express sadness or frustration or even anger, don’t shut them down, but listen to them and show them that you care about what they’re feeling. And feel free to let them know that their new pastor cares very much about what they’re feeling as well! Perhaps the main way our children will come to see and feel that God cares for them is through our care of them. Our caring will give them a concrete example of the fact that God does care for and is thinking about them. Also, remember that children grieve differently than adults do, so you may have to do some extra work to ensure that you’re in touch with what your children are going through. And it might be a good idea to check in with them periodically to see how they’re doing.

5. Pray as a couple with your children. It is very important that we not only speak to and listen to our children, but that we lead our children to the throne of grace where they can find help in their time of need. Don’t be quick to remove pain from your children, for it may be that God has provided that pain for them for their good. But do be quick to escort them to the throne where they can learn to receive grace, mercy, and love from our heavenly Father.

I hope you find these few thoughts helpful. Please know that the Handrens and the Feders are standing with you in prayer through this transition, and that we’re available for counsel.

For the glory of Christ,
Pastor Charlie